So I’m leaving work and something darts in front of me, maybe 10ft away, too fast for me to see what it is. Peek around the tree blocking my path and I see this
Just like… a whole ass hawk. Dude’s gotta be about 1.5ft tall. Massive fucking bird. And it’s just staring me straight in my soul like this, even as I try to move ahead. It didn’t budge. And there’s only this path back to my car unless I want to walk on a busy highway. So I have the option of Death By Raptor or Death By Truck.
So I walk in the poison ivy filled patch off the sidewalk. Guy still isn’t moving. Still staring me directly in the eyes. And I do this thing when animals are behaving strangely where I’ll talk to them, so I’m just like, “Hey, man. I don’t know you. You don’t know me. This feels really threatening. I’m just trying to get to my car, dude. Can I get some space please? You’re a big fucking bird. I see those claws. You could kill me right now, but I’d appreciate if you didn’t, ok?”
It didn’t move until I was about 2ft away. Again: I’m as far from it as I can be without walking into the street. It clearly wasn’t going to budge. I walk past, thing flies up (silent, btw. Scary) and lands on a brick wall a little further ahead
Anyway. Weird guy. Nearly shit my pants when I noticed a bird big enough to carry off a fully grown cat was just… there, staring me in the face, unwilling to move away from me, a human, something it should see as a threat. I watched behind me the whole rest of the way to my car, just in case this bird decided to help me shed this mortal coil. 10/10 experience. Super cool guy.
This is so funny because that’s a freshly-fledged juvenile red tailed hawk.
It didn’t leave simply because it didn’t really know the giant gorilla thing walking towards it was a threat. You were menaced by what amounts to a teenager who just passed their driving test just chilling under a tree.
This thing weighs all of 1 pound and barely knows it’s a bird.
when i travel i like to take hilariously bad pictures of common tourist things, because anyone can take a nice picture of them, so i’d rather take a shitty one i can laugh at later
here’s this
continuing:
Can I play, too?
I’m howling
this explains the tourists i saw taking a picture of a picture of edinburgh castle outside tesco instead of idk going to edinburgh castle 10 minutes away
This belongs here:
everyone please look at all the images in the replies of this post im dying i had no idea other people were as dumb as me
A rat eating from a trash can with the eiffel tower in the background
